Openness

This weekend, I was blessed with an opportunity to join Kelly Lindsey and 8 others on a yoga and meditation retreat in Chappell Hill, Texas--just West of Houston.  Held at The Margaret Austin Center, a beautiful enclosure surrounded by greenery and a certain stillness, this retreat was a true refuge.

Leaving the madness of Austin City Limits behind, I embarked on my journey taking with me my massage table, meditation cushion, yoga mat and journal.  I felt layers peel off me as I got closer and closer to my destination.  And when I arrived, I was immediately at ease.  Any trace of anxiety evaporated from my being as I unloaded my car and greeted the familiar and unfamiliar faces of the retreaters.

An offering of coffee was made by the designated cooks (awesome by the way) and I felt at home immediately.  The first night was an introduction to the retreat and what was intended by it.  We each set our own intention and mine came to me quite easily.  I intended to nurture the three S's:  Silence, Stillness and Solitude---each being themes of the weekend.

In my daily life, I am busy.  There is noise surrounding me constantly in the form of chatter (both internal and external), traffic etc. and I am always moving from studio to studio, appointment to appointment and from one social engagement to the next.  I have a very busy setup, though it is doing work that is very enjoyable to me and is my heart's calling.  Not to mention, the constant draw and distraction of social media (Facebook, gmail, blogging....)

The retreat was mostly the opposite though I was working (massage) for most of it.  Even while I worked, I felt a sense of spaciousness around me...The expansiveness that I crave.  I was able to think more clearly and had a few important discoveries that I wrote down in my journal.  I discovered that I need more stillness, solitude and silence in my life and will be working to cultivate this in the coming months.

I will:
meditate more (even if it's 5 min. a day)
read silently (now I'm reading If the Buddha Dated)
Allow myself to be still and try not to feel guilty about it.

Throughout the retreat, I continued to feel pleasantly at ease--no sight of my anxiety which usually follows me around to some degree, though I'm working on it.  I think that if I can find a way to reproduce certain components of this weekend, I will have an easier time not feeling overwhelmed by everyday occurrences.

Returning to Austin illuminated new challenges as I was immediately aware of the hugeness of ACL...a big transition from the tranquility I felt at The Margaret Austin Center.  It took me a while to switch gears again but once I did, I realized that internal peace can be sought even when externally things are busy, loud or fast.

Monday morning I interviewed at Travaasa Austin, a resort 20 miles from Downtown.  The same feeling of spaciousness, stillness and tranquility washed over me...and I realized that my external world can mirror what I'm hoping to cultivate in my inner world.  On November 1, I will be on-boarded there meaning that I will be oriented to the space where I will begin teaching yoga classes.  My resume was also sent to the Spa, where I am hoping to be interviewed for a massage therapist position.  Whatever the outcome, I am sure to enjoy the journey...and am grateful to have new things illuminated.

I asked my teacher, Kelly what Tibetan word best describes this idea of spaciousness that I am trying to cultivate.  She reminded me of the concept of Shunyata or emptiness, which implies an unconditional emptiness-expansive-free.  I will keep this in mind entering what feels like a new phase in my life.